All posts by lactodouladrph

Provider Interview Series: With Women Wellness

In the triage room, her presence imbued calm, strength, and confidence in the mother’s innate ability to labor and birth. The words she chose and the tone in which she uttered them clearly reflected this sense of peace: this was not a race. It was a journey: the first one ever for the mother, yet she stood on the heels of so many women before her who were cared for by Suzanne. While as the mother’s doula I had the opportunity to stay until after the baby was born, Suzanne’s shift ended shortly after my client was admitted and another obstetrician colleague came in to carry on the torch. I later had another opportunity to meet Suzanne and I was struck by our conversation about language and the importance of word choice when it comes to the care of laboring families. I was smitten! I had been wanting to do this interview for quite some time now, and am so glad to have had the opportunity to talk not only with Suzanne, but also with her current partner and co-founder of With Women Wellness: Michelle Killingsworth, who is also a fabulous midwife dedicated to the holistic well being of women.

Family yoga and With Women WellnessTogether, they have been courageously and competently bringing about a new type of care to women and their families (including a number of hospital water births!), while also creating community. Through their Facebook page, the morning family yoga sessions, the invitation to doulas and other birth workers to chime in on how they could use their lovely space in East Hartford, the involvement of a professional counselor with their practice: they are essentially building a village dedicated to the holistic well being of women and their families.

It is my honor to introduce them to you through this interview. Read on and learn more about their perspectives and insights!

Why did you become a midwife?
Michelle: After working in Labor & Delivery and a GYN office for many years, I developed a strong desire to support women in their healthcare and birth choices and to help women achieve optimal health.  The best way for me to do that, was to become a midwife!
Suzanne: I was hooked from the first birth I witnessed, but didn’t actually know it yet and didn’t know it for many years.  I was 18, working as a tech in an Emergency room when I watched an 18yo walk in and delivered five minutes later.  She had just told her mother about the pregnancy the day before and had hid the whole thing, never getting prenatal care.  She didn’t want to bond with the baby and seemed so ashamed, disconnected and disempowered by the experience.  It was at that moment that I realized the power of birth and motherhood, how it can build someone up and also tear them down. I reflect often on that moment when I am working with pregnant moms, about how important it is that we assist and encourage their empowerment.

What do you find most rewarding about midwifery practice?
Michelle: When a woman tells me that her birth made her feel empowered!
Suzanne: That moment after a women delivers, has baby on her chest and I look her in the eyes and say “look at what you just did, you are awesome!”

What do you find most challenging about being a midwife?
Michelle: It’s hard to make any set plans – babies come when they want to!
Suzanne: Boundaries!  Midwifery is my life, it is part of who I am as a person, its not just a job.  It is so hard to not take work home with me.

What made you decide to open up your own practice?
Michelle: We had a strong desire to provide true midwifery services to women – time intensive, evidence based care.
Suzanne: I wanted patients to feel that they were listened to, that they weren’t part of a cog wheel, that they are a person with real questions and needed accurate answers. I feel so often “normal, healthy” pregnancies are ignored by modern healthcare, but these are patients who need support, education and attention in order to stay normal and healthy.

What’s been surprising about having your own practice so far?
Michelle: I have been so pleasantly surprised by the number of people who are excited for our practice and want to support it!
Suzanne: All the support from previous patients, new patients, physician colleagues, nurses and the hospital.

If you could change anything about the U.S. maternity care system, what would it be?
Suzanne:  Oh boy this is a loaded questions with so many answers!  Maternity care in the US is so backwards.  The primary place I would start is to stop treating all women as they are diseased and high risk.  The main way to achieve this would be to adapt a system similar to New Zealand’s, to have all women start prenatal care with a midwife and then risk-out to an OBGYN if and when they become high risk.

What are your thoughts about doula support?
Michelle:  You can never have too much labor support!  Some people think you do not need a doula if you have a midwife, but having both a doula and a midwife is the perfect scenario.
Suzanne: Agreed!  A well-informed doula can be a powerful tool.

What is your stance on home birth?
Michelle: I believe home birth is a safe and reasonable choice for the low risk pregnancy with the properly trained midwife.
Suzanne: I had both of my babies at home and wouldn’t trade those experiences for the world.  However, they were safe, under strict guidelines for risking out, and attended by educated/experienced midwives.

What are your thoughts about VBAC?
Michelle: C/Sections are not without their own risks. I believe the benefits of avoiding a C/section far outweigh the risks of VBAC for the right candidate.
Suzanne: My primary goal is the prevention of the 1st cesarean.  In the case of a VBAC, my goal is the prevention of the second cesarean and the majority of previous cesareans are good candidates.

What do you enjoy doing on your days off?
Michelle: Spending time with my kids, family, and friends!
Suzanne: Taking in life outside of midwifery.  Just spending time with my kids, husband and friends.

It gets better after six weeks: no, really, hang in there… it really does!

I still vividly remember the boundless daze in which  I spent countless hours in those first weeks after giving birth to you. The minutes merged into hours, and the days into nights. I remember the house being quiet and the two of us being the only ones awake… barely awake, ready to fall asleep between latching you on (hopefully on the correct side) and the next feeding. Sleeping on a makeshift  thin red mattress on the living room floor, to make sure you wouldn’t fall: too exhausted to put you back in the bassinet and too drained to get up for your next crying calls for closeness and mother’s warmth. We both needed sleep and closeness and that is what we got: we did it our way.

Sleep deprived mom

I remember it like it was yesterday. Feeling so out of control and unnerved because your helpful (and also exhausted) daddy took you from my arms to try and console you, because what I was doing wasn’t working.  My mama bear came out that night and it was not pretty. How dare he take you away from me, insinuating that I didn’t know how to mother you?

Exhausted new dad needs to go to work in the morning

I can still feel the anxiety I felt when you would cry hysterically pulling yourself away from my sore cracked nipples: what was I not doing right? Why didn’t you want to drink my milk? Why weren’t you gaining enough weight? I remember the 30-minute car rides to and from the hospital to meet with the lactation consultant who suddenly shared her tricks to help me understand you better, to get a sense of when you were really done eating and when you were just being sleepy and lazy. She put you on that scale before and after a feeding and showed me that indeed you had swallowed a few ounces of liquid gold… it had worked!

I remember the trick my mother showed me to get you to fall asleep by gently  and rhythmically swiping our finger tips over your eyelids while “shooshing” you and humming sweetly.

I also remember the rush of panic and confusion I felt when the pediatrician asked me how I was feeling. Was I supposed to be honest? Could I be honest? What would have happened had I told her that I was crying my eyes out at least once every day and that life with this new tiny person had actually been really really really hard… would she have reported me to DCF or a psychiatrist? Would she have taken you away from me? I told her everything was fabulous…

Here’s something else I remember. I remember something someone told me and I latched onto it for dear life. It was my light at the end of the tunnel. “It gets better after the first six weeks, ” she said. 

By the time that mark rolled around, I was still waking up every two hours to feed you, but I was handling it much better. It didn’t weigh on me. It was just my new normal and both my body and mind had found a way to naturally cope with it. I had finally become the butterfly after spending time in that grey slimy chrysalis.

Smiling or gas?

I was walking more easily. My scar was healing. My mastitis had cleared. I discovered we both loved pouch slings and I could have my arms and hands back again, while you slept dreamily against my reassuring heartbeat. You suddenly decided it was ok to wait for me in the bouncy seat right outside the shower curtain, while I took a minute to regenerate under the warm and sound-muting shower. You started smiling at me too… or maybe it was gas, like everyone else thought, but I was pretty happy with thinking that you were smiling because you knew we had made it out of that whirlwind of emotional rollercoasters and the boundless, shapeless time warp.

It was mostly smiles, giggles, and raspberries from that point on… until you became a precious chatter box!

Fast forward eight years. I now have a Master’s in Maternal and Child Health and I am a doctoral candidate in Maternal and Child Health doing research about low-intervention, high-value, family-centered maternity care models. I’m a birth geek: yes, I am! As a practicing doula I incorporate evidence-based information about perinatal mood disorders, breastfeeding, and the early postpartum period into my services and support to families. I also use birth art and Birthing from Within concepts and sensibilities to equip parents with a diverse toolbox as they approach this complex and exciting time.

During my prenatal sessions with parents, I teach them about the “Laborynth”. We don’t just talk about the twisty and unpredictable journey taken from the time labor begins to the magic moment in which parents get to meet their child for the first time. We also talk about the journey back, and how twisty, topsy-turvy, raw, and hard it can be to get out from that Laborynth. We prepare with realistic expectations and with decision-making and coping skills that can come in handy when we are faced with yet another decision-making opportunity and challenge as new parents… just like we did when preparing for birth.

Birth is unpredictable. So is the early postpartum period. Falling in love may not be as easy. Breastfeeding may not come naturally.  Recovering from the exhaustion of birth while getting used to a new sleep  rhythm may take some time. Negotiating new family and relationship dynamics may not be easy. Adjusting to new identities and roles can be a confusing and emotional process. Throw in some hormones and you have a very potent cocktail! Listen to your instinct: do you need help? Ask for it! Even if it is the baby blues, the right kind of help can attenuate the symptoms and make you feel a lot more supported!

But trust me: it does get better. For many it takes anywhere from two to six weeks, and if it doesn’t… it’s ok too.  It may be time to reach out and not chalk it up simply to the baby blues. It may be time to give yourself the gift of more support, if you haven’t already, from professionals and peers who can share tips, strategies, support, and referrals for appropriate care. Close your eyes for a few seconds, feel the ground beneath you, breathe, trust that you’ll get through it and believe that you don’t have to go at it alone. In fact, you shouldn’t: it’s time to gather your tribe!


The mighty epidural: is it the answer for all people scared of childbirth?

Epidural SpaceWhen I first became interested in childbirth and maternity care I undoubtedly favored as natural a childbirth as possible for all women. Unmedicated, vaginal, home waterbirths were my golden standard. That is until I realized that all women are different, as are their labors and each individual birth. One size cannot fit all when it comes to birth.

What is most important to me, nowadays, is for childbearing families to gather comprehensive reliable information well in advance, so that they may explore their personal beliefs and needs to formulate a preference during pregnancy, and then adopt an open stance towards what may come their way during labor and delivery so that their decisions may be made with calm, confidence, and self-love.

Being open to giving yourself permission to stray from your preferred plan during the various twists and turns of labor and birth, will allow you to own your decisions with an empowered stance, backed by the knowledge and self-exploration acquired while still pregnant. While I have supported plenty of unmedicated vaginal births that went just as the family had preferred and planned, I also had the honor of witnessing empowering births that, while different than what had been planned/preferred prior to labor beginning, were exactly what the family needed at the time. They practiced informed choice.

Birth without fearI have also had many opportunities to share other options and alternatives with families who wanted to know more about different ways to cope with the anticipated discomfort and pain of labor. When I meet prenatally with parents, we explore different ways of thinking about labor pain, so that they can try to reframe it in ways that are more positive and less scary. After all, pain is Purposeful, Anticipated, Intermittent, and Normal (P.A.I.N.) and it sometimes helps to know that on that same day, 300,000 other women are also gathering their strength, love, and energy to give birth to their miracle. It also helps to learn that not everybody feels pain during labor… and some people experience quite the contrary!

We talk about mindful birth and the power of natural coping mechanisms, self-hypnosis, vocalization, position changes, movement, hydrotherapy, visualizations, non-focused attention, breathing patterns, aromatherapy, distraction, comforting touch, feeling love and safe to promote the production of  oxytocin and endorphins. We also talk about the logistics and documented evidence of benefits and risks of different pharmacological options such as epidurals, analgesics, narcotics, and more. We cover it all so that we know what tools are at our disposal on d-day.

So no: epidurals are not the answer for everyone, but merely one of the many tools that © Copyright 2010 CorbisCorporationlaboring women and their families have at their disposal. As a childbirth doula, I believe it is my job to share comprehensive information about your various alternatives, to invite you to explore your preferences and needs, and to remind you about the questions you may want to ask your provider to ensure an empowered, safe, and healthy birth experience and outcome. Your birth is unique, one size does not fit all!

A Blessed Year Behind Me and Another Before Me


Doula and babyI began the new year surrounded by family and friends, celebrating the highs of the year just concluded, cleansing of what was to be left behind, and reflecting upon the essential core of what I seek to embrace going forward.

In 2014 I was blessed to accompany many families as they reached into the depths of their physical and emotional strength, to further grow the reach of their loving heart. Each birthing journey this past year continued to teach me about the unpredictability of birth, the uniqueness of each opening body, mind, and heart, and the power of “holding space.” A place where releasing and opening up can happen safely, where decisions are made in ways that are informed, not rushed, and fully owned, and where the physiological normalcy of birth is revered and respected. A space where birth warriors can roar or draw inwards, as needed.

I was honored to serve as a doula to my 2014 mothers and their families, helping them reach that place where they too could feel “rooted in what made them feel grounded,” safe, supported, cared for, understood, powerful, and strong, as they navigated the twists and turns of their labors.

I welcome the New Year and all that it will bring. I look forward to living intentionally, to trust what is meant to be, and to purposefully serve the great women whose journeys I will be blessed to witness, together with those who loved them deeply.

In peace,




Interview with Sharon Thomason, PhD of The MomSource

Sharon ThomasonSharon Thomason, PhD is the founder and owner of The MomSource, a private practice located in West Hartford (CT) serving families in their childbearing years, as they embark in their new journey of parenthood.

She is the one of the few Connecticut providers who specialize in parenthood and particularly in the emotional needs tied to pregnancy, birth, and the early postpartum period. She is wonderful resource for practitioners and families in our state, as she shares her expertise with compassion and everlasting passion. Learn more about her mission to prevent and treat perinatal mood disorders, by reading the interview below!

What led you to starting The MomSource? Since I began working with postpartum women many years ago, I found a lack of resources, both practical and emotional, as contributing factors to the development of perinatal anxiety and mood disorders. While devoting time and attention to my psychotherapy practice and my own growing family, there was not time to devote to developing a preventative service. As my daughter approached graduation from high school, I realized my goal of developing a consultation service with the intention of prevention.

How can families benefit from seeking services through The MomSource? If we can plan ahead of time, during pregnancy or even before, the transition to parenthood can be much easier. I help parents develop a plan: what kind of help might we need? Who do we already have in our support system who can help, and what are my helpers’ strengths? What practical tools are available to help us as we make this transition? I meet with the couple, identify their needs, and help them develop a plan to meet those needs. I am available after the baby is born to help provide support, and provide referrals for resources.

Are your services covered by insurance plans? Can women receiving Medicaid access your services? MomSource consultations are not covered by insurance. Insurance covers clinical diagnosis and those clinical services are best provided in my psychotherapy services at Psychological Health Associates.

If not, what suggestions do you have for families who cannot afford your services but still need the support and guidance? I can refer to others who can best meet their needs. The Nurturing Families Program provides much support for low income families, our free “Blue Mamas” group meets in West Hartford weekly, and in Middletown and New Britain monthly, and there are many Moms clubs and Meetups, including the Central CT New Parent Resources, which provide free and low cost support networks.

In your opinion, how can regular people better support families in the prenatal and early postpartum period? Acknowledge and accept that all feelings at that time surrounding pregnancy, birth, and the early postpartum period are not always positive: it is normal. Ask the question: “and, how are YOU doing?” so that you can open up that accepting and safe space to talk about the new parents’ reality and needs.  Offer what you can do-if you are making a big pot of soup, can you bring some to the family that can be used for an easy lunch? Can you walk an older child to the bus stop so Mom doesn’t have to get out early with the baby? Can you give a lift, or pick up something for them at the store? Can you ask a new Mom out for a walk? Be friendly!

Have you noticed, during your time in the field, any changes in terms of the culture surrounding perinatal mood disorders and emotional well-being of new families?SLOWLY, more recently more awareness that all is not unicorns and rainbows, but still SO much STIGMA and myths.  For example, when I meet with women in my clinical practice, one of the first things they tell me, is “I’m not going to hurt my baby or myself”. I make it a point to meet with family members and dispel the myth that everyone suffering from emotional and mental issues postpartum wants to hurt her baby or herself.  Education about the complete range of suffering and help is needed.

 What do you like the most about your job?They get better! Often, really fast! And it is making a difference. The research shows that the early years and the ability of parents to connect with babies early on affects their brain development, their ability to self-soothe, and to persist in later learning! What a difference it would make in the world, if all families were to get the help they need.

 If you could change anything about current policies impacting families during the perinatal period, what would that be?

  •  Paid parental leave
  • Flexible work schedules
  • Collaboration with return to work
  • Quality affordable daycare

 What do you like to do in your spare time? Connecting with my family, gardening, yoga, cross-country skiing, hiking, cooking

 Three words to describe you: Loving, Hopeful, Creative

Thank you Sharon and good luck with all that you do for our local families with so much expertise, love and compassion!

Interview with Stephanie Welsh, CNM

Stephanie Welsh, CNMWhen talking to Stephanie Welsh, a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) practicing with Mansfield OB/Gyn, I learned that she came to the profession from a place of reverence towards the power of a woman’s body, with a passion for social justice, and a bright clinical mind. One thing that struck me about Stephanie was her evident passion for women and their rights, their bodily integrity, their ability to choose what is right for them and for her, as a midwife, to be readily and genuinely able to support their choice, whatever that might be. You may be interested in getting to know her a little bit more… so here is a snapshot into her mind and passion for midwifery. Enjoy!

How did she get into midwifery? While she grew up with a mother who was a labor and delivery nurse, Stephanie did not become interested in midwifery until after she became a successful photojournalist. It was at this point, while working on a project on female genital circumcision in Kenya that she started bearing witness to birthing women and the inherent power and magic they hold as they bring about another human being into their shared space. After spending numerous hours shadowing both ob/gyns and midwives, and realizing that what she was most inclined towards was a midwifery path, she decided to embark on this journey to start serving women and their families. She chose to become a CNM, rather than a Certified Professional Midwife (CPM), because she wanted the flexibility to be able to attend women in all birthing settings. She had also started her inquiry into her future career from an initial interest in pursuing an OB/Gyn track, which was later abandoned when she realized that as midwife, she would be able to spend a lot more quality time with her clients without being rushed, and be able to bear witness to their stories, their struggles, their elation, just like she had as a photojournalist.

In her opinion, what makes for a good midwife? When answering this question, Stephanie talked about the ability to actively and compassionately listen to women, not only because it is important to listen to their healthcare needs, but also because it is important to take women seriously. It is important for protecting women’s rights and for respecting their bodily integrity. She also talked about the importance of having an excellent clinical mind. “What’s great about the profession,” Stephanie says, ”is that it combines the essential human element of taking care of women, labor, and birth, with this ability to handle individual healthcare needs, and to practice excellent clinical judgment.” These were qualities she was attracted to, when choosing the midwives that cared for her own health and wellbeing before, during, and after her own pregnancies.

What does she love the most about her work as a midwife? Stephanie said that being a midwife feels a lot like when she was a photojournalist. She feels very fortunate to be allowed into people’s lives. They tell her their stories and invite her to bear witness to both their most wonderful and most terrible moments of their lives. “It’s a gift, to be present in people’s most critical moments of their life” she says.

What does she feel is most challenging about her work as a midwife? In her experience, it’s very difficult to balance work and family in this profession. It’s a challenge to keep balance and boundaries. “But,” she says, “if you’re not well rested and happy, then your work suffers.”

If she could change anything about the maternity care system, what would it be? Stephanie pondered this question for a while, because she felt that there are so many things that she would ideally change, if she could. She is very passionate about preventing violence against women, and adequately caring for women who have experienced various forms of violence in the U.S., as well as abroad. She wishes more could be done in this regards. Additionally, she feels that the current liability system, in the U.S., takes too much of a driver seat in our current maternity care system, too often dictating how care is delivered, subtly changing how people practice, insidiously replacing intuition and skill with fear and defensive interventions, and adding tremendous costs to obstetrical care. If she could, she would lead efforts towards tort reform.

How does she feel about Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC)? She very strongly supports VBAC and believes that based on the evidence currently available, VBAC is a very safe route for most women, and “trial of labor after cesarean” (TOLAC) is an important choice for any woman who desires it. Unfortunately, the hospital in which she currently assists women with their deliveries, does not offer the option of TOLAC, and therefore whenever she encounters a woman who is a good candidate for VBAC and is interested in TOLAC, she will readily refer her to other practitioners and facilities where her choice is supported.

What is her stance on doula support for laboring women? Stephanie believes that laboring women can benefit greatly from having a support person with whom they connect. She talked about how there is clear evidence in support of doula care. It is clearly shown in studies that women who have a support person use less medication, have more vaginal deliveries, and are happier about their births. She says that while women can receive this support from people other than a doula, doulas fill a critical area of need that partners or other figures may not always be able to fill.

What is her stance on home birth? Stephanie was fortunate to live in Florida where home birth is alive and well. She shadowed and trained with midwives in all settings, including home birth. She recalled a vivid memory of one birth she attended, where while the mother was laboring in the tub, the toddler was bicycling around the house: regular life was going on around her, and everything was just so “normal” and peaceful! She supports women who prefer home birth as an option, and regularly refers them to home birth midwives in the area. While she believes that home birth is a safe option for low-risk women, she also acknowledges that many more families would likely opt for a home birth if there were a stronger and more established network between home birth providers and hospital facilities, in case of emergencies. She also said that her practice tries to provide elements of home birth that families value, in the hospital setting, so that more women, even those with more complex medical situations, can take advantage of that home-like environment.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know Stephanie Welsh, CNM: I certainly did! Who else are you curious to learn more about? Are there any other midwives, chiropractors, naturopaths, massage therapists, mental health counselors, yoga instructors, childbirth educators, ob/gyn docs you’d like to recommend for an interview? If so, email me the names and I’ll take care of the rest!

Launching the local Women’s Health providers’ interview series!

When I first moved to the Mansfield (CT), I made it a point to pick up all local newspapers to get a feel for the area, the local culture, and the various businesses and events in town. One ad I repeatedly noticed, was that for the local Mansfield OB/Gyn practice.

In reading their mission statement on their website I felt like they touched upon a number of elements that hit my doula sensitivities right on the head: “Mansfield Ob/Gyn Associates is devoted to creating a welcoming environment that provides compassionate, quality health care in partnership with women and their families.  We advocate for the well-being of the women in our diverse community and will serve them with dignity and respect.”  PARTNERSHIP, ADVOCACY, WELL-BEING, DIGNITY, RESPECT, DIVERSITY.

I was even more intrigued when I saw they had a Certified Nurse Midwife, Stephanie Welsh, as part of their provider team, advancing the midwifery model of care right here in our local community. I reached out to Stephanie, who was eager to meet with me in the early Fall to give me a tour of the maternity floor at Windham Hospital, where she assists women and their families. She graciously spent time chatting with me about the many accomplishments, challenges, and opportunities she has encountered over the years while serving her clients in this very special role. She later agreed to being interviewed and featured on my website, as part of a series exploring local women’s health providers.

Here I share Stephanie’s perspective on pregnancy, birth, maternity care, and life as a midwife: ENJOY!

Please send me an email with requests of who else, in Central and Eastern CT, RI, and Southern MA,  you would like me to interview and feature on here: I’m looking forward to talking to other wonderful providers who are living their passion to serve women and their families, each and every day!

Why hire a doula?


When I had my first child, I did not even know that doulas existed. It was after getting pregnant the second time and being set on having a much more positive experience the second time around, that I found out about doulas and their role in providing continuous knowledgeable, skilled, and compassionate labor support to women AND their partners.

Since the birth of my children I was fortunate to spend several years learning about birth: its physiology, its emotional and psychological impact on mothers and their families, its relationship with breastfeeding and the early postpartum period, and the various ways in which different birth team members can support the journey of mothers and their partners as they blossom into strong and healthy families.

I also learned about birth as a public health issue, from a population standpoint, in terms of statistics relating to the use of interventions (whether medically indicated or not) such as labor induction and augmentation, planned and emergency cesarean sections, vaginal births after cesarean (VBACs), as well as research findings about mothers’ experiences with maternity care in the US.

I became more and more attached to the realization that BIRTH MATTERS. It matters to the individual woman and her partner, it matters to that baby being born on that day, it matters to women as women (women rights!) and as human beings as they stand to deliver in a space that is protected and embracing of their human right to be cared for with dignity, respect, and compassion.

Doulas are still too often a well-kept secret: only 6% of women surveyed in the most recent Listening To Mothers III study by Dr. Eugene Declercq et al (2013) actually received labor support from a doula, even though 27% of mothers who knew about doulas and did not use one, admitted to having wanted to have a doula present at their birth. Given the overwhelming benefits of doula support,  I agree with the DONA International vision of “A Doula for every woman who wants one” and strongly believe that  doulas should ideally be a standard essential ingredient of every birthing team.

Your doula can provide you AND your partner with uninterrupted:


  • Help you understand what to expect and what your preferences might be well before labor begins
  • Be your “go-to person” when you have a bunch  of questions before birth and after, questions your care provider may not have the time to answer during regular visits
  • Help you find a provider that best suits your needs and expectations
  • Help you navigate and plan for community resources such as childcare, home visiting services, meal planning for the early postpartum period, newborn care plans, breastfeeding and childbirth education classes, insurance coverage, etc.
  • Help ensure optimal continuity of care so that your care providers, who may be changing shifts during your labor, are aware of your preferences as you progress through labor and recover postpartum
  • Help you understand what your options are and help you understand what your providers are telling you or what they may be about to do
  • Remind you that, in non-life threatening situations,  it is ok to ask for more time to think about your choices
  • Remind you that you can ask more questions
  • Keep notes about what happens during your labor and birth, so that she may share it with you afterwards when you are ready to process your birth
  • Answer initial questions about breastfeeding


  • Turn the light off or down
  • Turn the TV off and turn the music on
  • Close the door or draw the curtains
  • Suggest different positions to alleviate pain, increase comfort, shorten labor, and optimize fetal positioning
  • Use pressure points, hip squeezes, counter pressure, and other comforting touch
  • Use a Rebozo for positioning and relaxation
  • Help your partner learn about ways in which he/she may help you feel more comfortable throughout labor
  • Ensure that you stay hydrated throughout labor (she even brings unopened lip balm for you to use!)
  • Give you nourishment if you are running out of energy or are feeling hungry during labor
  • Help you periodically change positions in case of an epidural that prevents you from moving on your own
  • Add more blankets and warm towels when and if you are feeling cold
  • Comfort you with cool rags and other proven measures in case of nausea
  • Help you focus inward, maintain a regular breathing pattern, and become calmer when and if anxiety sets in


  • Accompany you on prenatal visits and/or birthing place tours
  • Be with you, continuously, from the early stages of labor till well after you are settled after birth
  • Give your partner a break, when needed, and the peace of mind that you are still being cared for continuously
  • Make you laugh, chat, and distract you when you feel that is best and keep quiet and let you focus inward when that is what you need
  • Remind you to trust birth, and to trust your body
  • Help you live birth as an empowering and healing experience
  • Stay with you in the operating room when your partner goes to the nursery with the baby, in case of a cesarean birth
  • Take pictures as you wish
  • Be proud of you no matter what
  • Remind you that you are amazing and that you are doing exactly what you need to do for yourself and your baby during YOUR birth
  • Celebrate with you with genuine excitement and care

You may ask yourself: “Can’t my partner, mother, friend do all this for me?” Perhaps they could, especially if they have received the same kind of training that professional doulas normally get and if they have spent countless hours learning in depth about labor, childbirth, comfort measures, provider-patient communication, and so on. Interestingly though, numerous studies have found that the benefits of continuous labor support, benefits that include increased satisfaction with the birth experience as well as lower medical intervention rates, are improved significantly when the support is provided by a person who is not affiliated with the birthing place, nor the woman’s immediate social network. 

Are you ready to invest in a knowledgeable, compassionate, and skilled doula to support you and your partner before, during, and after the big day? Contact me to set up a free consultation!